Conversations with the parents: Vol. 937

Mom: I wish you were here, I miss partying with you!

Me: I wish I was there too mom. Where are you right now?

Mom: I'm riding in a car with my friend Tracy, we're going back to his house. We had to stop by my house to pick up some Vicodin. You should meet Tracy's friend, I told them how beautiful you are.

Me: UGH Maaahhh-uhhhm! Stop pimping me out to all your friends!

Mom: hahahahha but I told them you were too rough for them anyway.

[Laughter and talking in the background]

Mom: They said that they would bring their rope. hahahaha

Me: Gross mom, I think I'm going to vomit.

Mom.

So, after browsing through many other blogs, and some myspace groups, I have been hit with nonstop parent posts. So here's mine. This is my favourite picture of my mom. She is in her teens here, and has never looked more beautiful. Sometimes I truly hate this bitch, but even when I hate her, I love her.

OH, fun fact of the day: every time we call each other on the phone, instead of saying "hello," we say, "hey ho" or "hey hooker, what's up." And somehow, the phrase, "god mom, you are such a whore," enters the conversation more than once. Ahhh goodtimes.

oh christian...

well, if christian bale's mother is anything like mine, i hope he knocked that cunt out.