It's always the quiet, conservative ones...

Politicians in Australia's most populous state could be breath-tested for alcohol before voting on laws after a series of late-night incidents that have embarrassed the center-left government.


New South Wales state lawmaker Andrew Fraser resigned from his conservative opposition frontbench role after shoving a female colleague in the wake of Christmas party celebrations.

"Breath test this mob," said a front page headline in Sydney's mass-selling Daily Telegraph newspaper. State police minister Matt Brown was dumped from his portfolio in September after allegedly "dirty" dancing in his underwear over the chest of a female colleague after a drunken post-budget office party.

Conservative Opposition Leader Barry O'Farrell said he would support alcohol breath tests for drunkenness for lawmakers before they entered parliament, while Green MPs John Kaye and Lee Rhiannon also backed the plan, along with the parliament's speaker.

"Honestly, if you are going to have breathalyzers for people driving cranes you should have breathalyzers for people writing laws," Kaye told the Telegraph.

It makes perfect sense! If only they had instated that when Bush was in office...

In case this wasn't clear...

...you can NOT attack a speed enforcement camera with a pickax!

Picking your nose can KILL you:

A man died because he picked his nose so much he bled to death, an inquest heard.



Manchester coroner Nigel Meadows said about the death of 63-year-old Ian Bothwell: 'There is no explanation for this death other than he died from a nose-bleed, consistent with picking his nose. I do not think for a moment he knew what he was doing was going to cause his death.'
He recorded a verdict of misadventure.

A pathologist concluded that Mr Bothwell, who suffered from dementia brought on by alcoholism, had picked his nose so much that it had caused him to bleed to death.
The only place he found any contributory evidence was inside Mr Bothwell's nasal cavity, which was full of blood.

Dr Benbow told the inquest: 'The nasal cavity was filled with blood. My conclusion is that the most likely cause of death is epistaxis, the technical term for a nose-bleed.

'The most common cause of epistaxis is picking the nose and I believe that is likely to be what happened.'

Mr Bothwell had been a fit young man until he suffered a brain haemorrhage when he was 20. He was unable to work and he quickly descended into alcoholism.

His only relative was a sister living in Cornwall, who he saw just once in 30 years at his mother's funeral in 1986.

Aside from the depressing backstory, I am surprised that this doesn't happen more often. At least in children anyway. When my son was about 18months - 2years old, he would constantly pick his nose until it would start bleeding. He probably wouldn't stop there either, but...ya know...the blood would catch our attention. In fact, sometimes I'll notice some crusted dried blood in his nose now; but not very often thank goodness. It's pretty common for children to pick their nose to excess, so it's a wonder that there aren't serious medical problems that arise.

Word to the wise: Tissues are your friend!

I've been saying this for months now...

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

I've been saying this same exact thing for months now. To fix the economy, all we have to do is legalize gay marriage, legalize and tax the fuck out of weed, and legalize and charge up the ass for prostitution. Think about it. Jobs upon jobs would be available, crime would go down, stds and AIDS would go down, etc etc.

And if the drugs and sex is too much for you to stomach, then just legalize gay marriage. Do you realize the average wedding costs $30,000? Helllooooo. Not to mention marriage counseling and divorce costs. Because, you know, marriage doesn't work, regardless of sexual preference. Anyway, point is, if you are so hung up on every other aspect of gay marriage, just remember, it would help the economy!

Recognize that shit now?

No? Really? How 'bout now?


Still no? What the fuck...


It's muthafukin' MALLRATS! The very awesome movie by Kevin Smith, which if you haven't seen, you should. Fuck, you should just OWN it! You can see the trailer here since that some douche wouldn't allow embedding.

Brody (Jason Lee) is my absolute favourite, and I love every bit of dialog he says. The movie should have been about him, not TS; in my opinion.


So yeah, the blueprints are framed and on my living room wall.

I also have this framed, well, the top one at least:

That little gem is from the Kevin Smith movie, Chasing Amy.



Classy, no? ;)

:::DISCLAIMER::: I do not hate gay people, I've licked enough clit in my day to appreciate the comedy, people. ...fuck.

Sounds like something Nicole Wallace would do...

If you watch Law and Order: Criminal Intent as much as I do, then you'll know exactly who I'm talking about. If you're not watching, then you totally need to, because Vincent D'Onofrio is fucking brilliant!

Anyway, Uganda's police warned male bar-goers to keep their noses clean after a probe found a gang of robbers had been using women with chloroform smeared on their chests to knock their victims unconscious. Hahahahhahahahahha. Awesome!

"They apply this chemical to their chest. We have found victims in an unconscious state," Criminal Investigations Directorate (CID) spokesman Fred Enanga told AFP.

"You find the person stripped totally naked and everything is taken from him," he said. "And the victim doesn't remember anything. He just remembers being in the act of romancing."

Enanga, who explained that several types of heavy sedatives had been used, said he first came across the practice last year when an apprehended thief named Juliana Mukasa made a clean breast of the matter.

"She is a very dangerous lady," the official said.

While early investigations suggest that the gang may consist of dozens of members, the source of the sedatives remains unknown.

"We don't know exactly how they get these materials," Enanga added. "That is something that our investigations must crack."

He called on men, particularly travelling businessmen who tend to carry a lot of cash, to take caution.

"It's a serious situation and people have to be aware."

Yeahhh, "people have to be aware"...people like skeezy rich business men who are trying to pick up some trim on their way out of the hotel bar. Please, spare me. Fuckers get whats comin' to 'em, as far as I'm concerned. And yes, I am pissed I didn't think of this first!

yours truly