Noah- "Do i sound like a horse when i drink my milk?"

Me- "Yes, and you dont need to sound that way when drinking"

Noah- "i cant drink normal"

Me- "yes you can"

Noah- "no i cant"

Me- "yes you can"

Noah-" i think im half horse"

I had a nightmare about an hour ago. I guess that should teach me to take daytime naps huh? This was a real nightmare though, not just a bad dream. The kind of nightmare that you had as a kid. The kind were airplane fighter jets crash land around you & you're stuck watching people die. . .defenseless to help. The kind where to see what brought these fighter jets down. Some kind of monster. And the monster comes after you because you know it only has one agenda. To feed. And you're crouched in a shell of a destroyed aircraft, try to avoid this thing's searching claws. Claws that are desperately craving flesh & blood. And in this panic for self-preservation, you suddenly wake up. Freaked out and wondering what the hell just happened. Yup, no more daytime naps. . .

Noah: i want to go with you! Pepaw: no no, get over here and watch that phlembob. Noah & me: haha its spongebob!

the birthday, the blowjob, and the motherfucking pie:

Today is my pepaw's 84th birthday. That man is amazing and I love the fuck outta him. Happy Birthday Pepaw!

SO...

On with the updates:

I'm in texas. Currently being awesome, what with the waitressing extraordinaire and everything. THE PLAN: Leave late august. Everyone's saying I wont leave though. Well, fuck them.

Family rundown:

Mother: bitch. Father: working out-of-town. Mother: whoring around w/ new boyfriend. Father: bout to legally ram bitch up the ass via custody war. ....we'll see who comes out victorious.

I'm also staying in a yet-to-be foreclosed-on house by myself. It was awesome when my younger brother was staying there too and we could hang out...now it's pretty damn lonely. But whatevs, the man will not bring me down. Damn the man, save the empire!

Work is work. I am awesome. I have yet to figure out how to patent my blowjobs without it being considered a form of prostitution though...

6 month hiatus:

I'll be leaving my home for the next 6 months due to the following reasons:

-I have no job here and can't find one.

-My car was repossessed yesterday and I can't get it back. There is no way I can come up with over $10,000 in the next 15 days; short of robbing a bank. Plus, knowing my luck, I would get a bullet to the face instead of the money anyway.

-I have debt on top of my debt. My credit was already fucked before the repossession.

My concerns:

-Transferring my son to a new school. I don't think he'll take it well at all.

-Living with my parents. They are soul sucking forces that drive me to think unthinkable thoughts. If I end up stabbing my mother, please know that that cunt drove me to it. Crime of passion, not premeditation. Even though I'm discussing it now, I'm not planning it.

-My parents might lose their house.

-Being away from my boyfriend for 6 months. We've never been apart that long in the 5 1/2 years that we've been together. I'm worried we'll grow apart. Or rather, that he'll grow apart from me.

Regardless, I'll be gone til September.

NO! ok? just, no!

I swear to god, if my boyfriend buys this Star Trek Mural for our bedroom wall, I will NOT have sex in the Captain's Chair! Ok? No matter how many roofie-coladas he makes for me.

Actually, that might work. Hey baby, if you roofie me, you at least HAVE to video having sex w/ my lifeless body; so I can get off to it later. But if you're wearing the Star Trek shirt and throwing up the hand sign, I swear to god it's over.

Source

another reason why i love southwest airlines: