Thursday, January 3, 2013

Page Views...

My page views are from Russia....Well that must be a spam bot. .....damn.

Write a letter to your 100yr old self.....

Dear Self, Why THE FUCK have you not killed yourself yet?! Hatefully Yours, Me <3

Monday, December 17, 2012

To Blog or Not To Blog?

......I'M BAAAAAAACK!....... I'll be blogging again, and yet I'm trying to decide if I should have two blogs. This one where some people know who I am; and another one that is 100% anonymous. Or give up this one? Or should I just start being retardedly honest? I'm sure if I start posting things, some people could guess who I would be talking about, and I don't want people getting hurt. Small towns and such. It's pretty Peyton Place around here. I'm not sure yet. HOWEVER, I will be moving soon. South Texas. yaaaaay. *sarcasm* New slutty adventures are definately in store. Stay tuned.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Noah- "Do i sound like a horse when i drink my milk?"

Me- "Yes, and you dont need to sound that way when drinking"

Noah- "i cant drink normal"

Me- "yes you can"

Noah- "no i cant"

Me- "yes you can"

Noah-" i think im half horse"

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

I had a nightmare about an hour ago. I guess that should teach me to take daytime naps huh? This was a real nightmare though, not just a bad dream. The kind of nightmare that you had as a kid. The kind were airplane fighter jets crash land around you & you're stuck watching people die. . .defenseless to help. The kind where to see what brought these fighter jets down. Some kind of monster. And the monster comes after you because you know it only has one agenda. To feed. And you're crouched in a shell of a destroyed aircraft, try to avoid this thing's searching claws. Claws that are desperately craving flesh & blood. And in this panic for self-preservation, you suddenly wake up. Freaked out and wondering what the hell just happened. Yup, no more daytime naps. . .

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Noah: i want to go with you! Pepaw: no no, get over here and watch that phlembob. Noah & me: haha its spongebob!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

the birthday, the blowjob, and the motherfucking pie:

Today is my pepaw's 84th birthday. That man is amazing and I love the fuck outta him. Happy Birthday Pepaw!


On with the updates:

I'm in texas. Currently being awesome, what with the waitressing extraordinaire and everything. THE PLAN: Leave late august. Everyone's saying I wont leave though. Well, fuck them.

Family rundown:

Mother: bitch. Father: working out-of-town. Mother: whoring around w/ new boyfriend. Father: bout to legally ram bitch up the ass via custody war. ....we'll see who comes out victorious.

I'm also staying in a yet-to-be foreclosed-on house by myself. It was awesome when my younger brother was staying there too and we could hang it's pretty damn lonely. But whatevs, the man will not bring me down. Damn the man, save the empire!

Work is work. I am awesome. I have yet to figure out how to patent my blowjobs without it being considered a form of prostitution though...