Friday, August 29, 2008


The C-String.

That, folks, is underwear. That's right, and I'll give one guess as to what the "C" in "C-String" stands for. Gross.

p.s. The above link is probably NSFW.

Are You Surprised?

According to TMZ, David Duchovny has checked himself into rehab for sex addiction. Frankly, I'm not surprised whatsoever, I'm just disappointed that I never got to sleep with him. That man is insanely hot.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Once again, the underdog pulls through...

You have to admit, Microsoft Internet Explorer is now the underdog, but I think we can finally give them their standard-just-for-showing-up-because-now-the-whole-damn-world-is-politically-correct trophy.

Microsoft Internet Explorer 8 to Include So-Called 'Porn Mode' Privacy Feature

This is EXACTLY why music should be experienced live:

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

oooh ooooh, i want THAT!

The Rogue is a freakin' sweeet new watch that tells time without telling you the actual numbers. Awesome. They just need to make a dainty women's version, but still keep it somewhat badass. No? Well, fuck it, I wear it anyway. But I do have to pull a chick move and get one in every color available.


Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Modern Day MacGyver*

Apparently some chick made solar cells out of a pizza oven, freakin' nail polish, and inkjet printers. Plus, she's Australian, so she's automatically hot.

Stunning + Smart = Everything I'm not

Sidenote(rant): Doesn't anyone remember that Daphne from Scooby Doo was the female MacGyver? No one ever references her. That makes me sad.

Monday, August 25, 2008

I Have Now Taken Laziness To A New Level.

In waking up this morning, I already knew that I wasn't going to wear a skirt to work. It was a pants kind of day; due to the fact that a) it's sort of rainy today, but more importantly, b) I need to acquire some pantyhose that don't have built-in runs in them. So, in mental preparation for my shower routine, I decided that I would not shave my legs.

Now, to all the females here, you are probably thinking, "yeah, so?;" but here is where I veer from sanity to whaaaaaat? In my infinite wisdom and half-asleepness, I also decided to shave my ankles. Yes, just my ankles. I reasoned that even though I was wearing slacks to work, sometimes my ankles end up showing when I cross my legs or whathaveyou. So, somehow, shaving just my ankles made perfect sense to me.

I'm working on getting that cat scan scheduled asap.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Reposting, because it makes me wet to watch this.

For instant orgasm, click here

Most pointless website. Ever.

Please enjoy this website:

and it's gallery of "Things I've Pushed Through Toast."

le clic

I keep overestimating the intelligence of humans.

Idiots, all of you! How, for one second, did ANYONE believe that Bigfoot was/is real? Seriously?! I can't believe, especially during a time of, not only war, but of an election, can a story of fucking BIGFOOT make CNN news coverage. Or that people actually thought these guys were telling the truth. I honestly wasn't sure whether to laugh that people didn't automatically know this was a hoax...or cry because people didn't know automatically that this was a hoax.

Society as we know it, is dead. We should blow up the earth now.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Guns on one schools' supply list:

HOUSTON - A Texas school district will let teachers bring guns to class this fall, the district's superintendent said on Friday, in what experts said appeared to be a first in the United States.

The board of the small rural Harrold Independent School District unanimously approved the plan and parents have not objected, said the district's superintendent, David Thweatt.

School experts backed Thweatt's claim that Harrold, a system of about 110 students 150 miles northwest of Fort Worth, may be the first to let teachers bring guns to the classroom.

Thweatt said it is a matter of safety.

"We have a lock-down situation, we have cameras, but the question we had to answer is, 'What if somebody gets in? What are we going to do?" he said. "It's just common sense."

Board members estimate it would take first responders nearly 30 minutes to get to the rural school in an emergency.

Teachers who wish to bring guns will have to be certified to carry a concealed handgun in Texas and get crisis training and permission from school officials, he said.

Recent school shootings in the United States have prompted some calls for school officials to allow students and teachers to carry legally concealed weapons into classrooms.

The U.S. Congress once barred guns at schools nationwide, but the U.S. Supreme Court struck the law down, although state and local communities could adopt their own laws. Texas bars guns at schools without the school's permission.


I think this is a great idea, as long as the teachers are trained properly and the guns are kept under lock and key. Or electronic lock and key, whatever. I, personally, would feel safe and secure knowing that my son's teacher would be prepared to SAVE lives if some whacked out kid decides to shoot up the place. I am also not surprised whatsoever that the first state to implement this is Texas. While I never experienced any violent behavior in any of the many schools I attended in Texas (bomb threats aside), my older brother's MIDDLE school was put on lock down once, for a possible drive by shooting. In Houston, no less. Plus, this was about 15-ish years ago, so a drive by shooting at a MIDDLE school was beyond terrifying. We moved shortly after, needless to say.

So, when lock down and cameras don't do anything to prevent or stop a shooting spree, would you feel better knowing that your child's life might be saved by someone on the inside? Or would you feel more safe knowing that you have to wait minutes, hours, etc for the police to make their way inside....or for the shooter to take themselves out? It just seems like immediate action is better. Common sense people.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


Happy, or something like it:

-The return of The Office! Can't freakin' wait! God I love that show.

-My son's birthday party went great! Although, I found out that it IS expensive to do a birthday party the "cheap" way and next year, I will opt for something like Chuck E. Cheese or The Movies or The Zoo, etc.

-Got to go on a two hour shopping spree with my boss' credit card today. Yes, I had to buy work appropriate clothing, and yes I had a limit, but still. It was pretty awesome.

-IRS says I owe them money since I never proved that I actually pay childcare (since having your taxes prepared by the pros no longer warrants as proof enough), but the upside is that all I have to do is send in proof and I don't have to pay the tax preparers extra monies to fix this.

-Still have to register my kid for school (btw, OMFG my kid is going to be IN SCHOOL!!!), but I scored a free session w/ a kid's counselor to evaluate his behavior; so that's pretty nice since I'm poor.

-I've been actually liking my boyfriend lately. I think it has something to do with never seeing him. It totally works for us.

Friday, August 15, 2008

The Problem With This Blog Is

that I don't feel like I can be completely honest or uncensored in it. People who know me in real life read this. Isn't it weird that you can be more honest with strangers? Perhaps honesty isn't the right word, because I don't lie to people, I just don't share things with people. It sucks when you need to talk about stuff or vent and have no one to go to.

I'm so not interested in life right now. And I don't mean that in any suicidal way, jackasses. I just mean that life is boring and dull and draining. I just want to escape. I wish I were 100% happy. Hell, I would settle for 75% happy. I think I'm more at 20%.

I finally saw the new BatFlick

According to box office numbers, I am clearly the last person in the freakin' world to see this movie. It was awesome, as you all already know. I absolutely can not wait for the third installment of the best Batman adaptations know to date.

The boyfriend was a dick and decided to go see it without me, so I took my sister to see it instead. And no, the boyfriend did NOT get any fantastic BatSex that night either. Bastard.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

lame ass jokes that i find amusing...

Q. How many car salesmen does it take to change a light bulb?
A. I'm just going to work this out on my calculator and I think you're going to be pleasantly surprised.

Q. How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 2. The first one is there to assure you that everything possible is being done about the situation, while the second one is busy screwing the light bulb into a water faucet.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Not Much To Update On

Just been feeling an odd combination of stress + non motivation lately. It's consumed me.

My sister got two tickets to So You Think You Can Dance, and she invited me to tag along! YAY...I do feel a little ashamed that I've gotten swept up into a reality show, but fuck, they wont pay the writers jack shit, so either we need to start liking reality shows, or stop watching tv. And the later is SO not an option for me.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Lets go ahead and keep those mexicans out!

Okay, okay, maybe I should have put "illegal" into some brackets before the word "Mexicans" in that title; but who are we kidding, racism is funnier.

I don't know how I feel about the whole building-a-fence-to-keep-the-wetbacks-out issue, mainly due to this huge, abyss-like feeling of "not caring" that I've got going on, but Glenn Beck* raised some pretty fine points.

Here are some of the issues being brought up:

1. 'Putting up a fence along the border sends the wrong signal to a friend and ally'
2. 'The only people crossing the border are good, decent, hard-working family people, here to make a better life'
3. 'The last thing we need is another Berlin Wall...this is supposed to be America!'

And here are some of the logical arguments Glenn* has fought back with:

1. Do YOU have a fence around your property? Is your neighbor offended by it? Did you put it up because you're a hateful racist, bent on keeping all who don't look like you off your property? Of course not. The old saying good fences make good neighbors has never been more true.

2. Well, there are some of those, and we'll discuss them another time. But there are also many drug smugglers and criminals, intent of harming American citizens. There are many like Jose Medellin, who just last week was finally executed for his crime of raping, torturing and brutally murdering two innocent teenage girls in Houston, Texas in 1993.

There are also armed military incursions across our border on a regular basis. Just last week, a U.S. border agent was held at gunpoint by Mexican military who'd crossed the border. They held him until back up border patrol agents arrived, then the retreated back across the border. Last month, Mexican commandos crossed the border all the way to Phoenix, Arizona, where they riddled a home with over 100 bullets, killing the American citizen inside, and had planned to ambush police responding to the incident, but ran out of ammunition. Several were caught by Phoenix police, the rest retreated back to Mexico. This is the 42 armed incursions into the United States by Mexican commandos since October...there's been over 300 since 2005. By the way, the Mexican authorities said their military personnel didn't know they'd crossed the border...a FENCE would help with that. After all, some might call an armed, military incursion across our border, an act of war.

3. First of all, we're not talking about a wall, we're talking about a fence. A fence designed to keep criminals, smugglers, potential terrorists, and yes, illegal aliens out...not, as was the case with the Berlin Wall, to keep our citizens IN. No one is trying to escape this country, so the Berlin Wall comparison shows that you possess all the intelligence of a bathroom bowl brush.

Over 1 MILLION people were apprehended by U.S. agents trying to sneak into the country last year. The Border Patrol estimates that they catch one in three. That means 2 million illegal aliens were successful sneaking into our nation. 2 MILLION per year! No nation of earth can sustain such an illegal influx.

It makes sense to me. I mean, if you are already here illegally, I think there should be some sort of process you can go through to get your legal status, such as showing how you have been an asset to the community and how hard you've worked and whatnot. Then hell yeah, lets make you legal, why the fuck not? We've got plenty of Americans milking the system and figuring that welfare pays more than the shitty wages we are giving the Mexicans to actually work. They aren't stealing jobs, we are just too fucking lazy to do anything. Fuck, we need those Mexicans! I know I do, cuz I haven't found one white person that can make a decent tamale, which is sad considering they wayyy easier than making lasagna. Plus, I know plenty of legal immigrants (from Mexico, Brazil, Bulgaria, etc) who found a way to become a citizen and if they can do it, anyone can. But of course, I'm against illegals coming over to prosper in drug trade or crime...that is, unless they hook me up on some free, pure Colombian bambam and maybe a plasma TV.

What do you think about this?


Friday, August 1, 2008

Happy Birthday!

My son turns 5 today! Holy crap! God, it seems like so long ago, but it's gone by so fast. One of my friends was talking about her baby and how she had cut her first tooth, and I was thinking, "oh god, I totally forgot about that." Which, by the way, is a horrible time.

He was so excited to take cupcakes to school today, to share with all his friends. I don't know about you, but that was a tradition when I was a kid, to take cupcakes to school on your birthday. Plus, I asked him what he wanted for dinner tonight, it was his choice since it was his birthday. I gave him a few options, but he chose McDonalds. Which, I'm a little relieved, since Mommy is broke right now. Haha, he kept saying, "It's my birthday today, I'm not 4 anymore, I'm 5! I'm a big kid now! I can't sleep in mommy's bed anymore, cuz I'm a big kid now!" God, I hope he remembers that one. I'm sick of him waking me up at 2am, asking if he can get into bed. I, of course, send him back to his room. He got smart and started sneaking into my bed without waking me up, though.

He is at a really fun age right now. I mean, granted, he throws some mondo fits, but for the most part, 4 and 5 are really fun ages. Plays great, can go to movies, can do just about everything on his own, etc. Thank god we got through the baby years. I can officially say goodbye to diapers, bottles, baby food, potty training, hours of crying and screaming, him being 100% dependant on me, etc. I may love holding babies and caring for them for a few hours, but I so don't want to raise another one. I am not that person.

So yeah, 5 years ago today, I pushed a baby out of my vagina. Just thought I would share.