Friday, October 31, 2008

carve any pumpkins this year?

Go to this site to see more awesome carvings.

I don't think I've carved a pumpkin since I was 12yrs old. I really need to get back on that pumpkin carving train....

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Monday, October 27, 2008

because I love all things Super Mario...


I don't know why I keep reading all these depressing stories today, I guess I'm on a mission to make myself cry or something.

Boy Accidentally Killed by Submachine Gun at Firearms Expo
Father, Instructor Nearby When the 8-Year-Old Fired Micro Uzi

First the school shootings in Arkansas, and then Jennifer Hudson's family, now this. Goodness.


Did Kevin Bacon put the feces in the ice cream?

That is a real news story! It's sort of confusing, but then again, anything Kevin Bacon does, is.

take from it what you will.

I suppose I get pretty home sick, pretty often. Maybe because I'm not around a huge network of people on a continuous basis, and when you are literally alone most of the day...well....there's usually one place your mind will end up. The past. Memories. Whathaveyou.

Since I've moved so far away, I like to read about my old stomping grounds as often as I can, which is usually weekly. I found my home town's (and rival's town's)newspaper and love reading them. Especially since the local crime blotter can more often than not, contain the names of old friends, schoolmates, acquaintances, and hell, even family members (my dad was just arrested a week-ish ago).

When I was reading one of the online papers this morning, I found out that someone I knew was now working for the Sheriff's Department. We had both been in the same Criminal Justice Program together, so the mere organization and position weren't so much of a shock; but it did throw me through a loop none the less.

I use to date his brother a lonnnng time ago. I dated his brother twice, actually. And then many years after that, this guy and I actually ended up sleeping together. Once. Admittedly I treated him like shit afterwards. Refused to accept his calls, totally shut him out 100%. I felt extremely bad about it too, but I was going through a pretty bad [redacted]. If I saw him today, it would be tres awkward.

Now he's in this power position with the law and I'm even more ashamed on top of the awkward history. He works for the Sheriff's station. The same Sheriff's station that has, and will probably continue to, be involved in my parent's business. Do I really need to define what I mean by that? My parent's past unlawful decisions and probably future unlawful behavior. Not just my parents either (my older brother is in prison right now, but he lives in a different city).

I've never really been the type of person to go into super detail about any of that with friends, so the fact that this person, with whom I have a history; might and probably will learn about some of a past that I...ya know...hid? Ugh. Plus I'm friends with this person's brother (obviously) and his dad. THIS is why I hate living in a small town. Especially when you have secrets.

Oh, and blogging about it isn't shit. Maybe, maybe, 5 people tops, reads this. And it's not super bad stuff, I just don't like everyone associating me with who my parents are right when they meet me. I can't tell you how many times I heard "Oh, you're Tammy's daughter?!" and instantly feel a panic attack set it. Daily. Weekly. Too many times.

Needless to say, I've spent the better part of my day stuck in the past.

Review: High School Musical 3!

So, I'm pretty sure only one person really cares what I think about this movie (Hi Anne!) and all my other friends think I'm crazy, but here goes:

High school musical 3 Pictures, Images and Photos

First off, I love Kenny Ortega (the director/choreographer). He has probably been attached to a lot of movies you like. He was the director of Hocus Pocus. He was the choreographer to Dirty Dancing. etc etc. The man knows his shit. Now, on to the movie.

I'm sure you can predict the main plot elements. Yes, our main love interests have some conflict. Yes, there are solos that follow. Yes, Sharpay is scheming (but not so much). Yes, there is a musical within the musical. Yes, it is all awesome.

The only real complaint that I have is: there isn't enough of a plot. Not for me, anyway. I wish the movie could have been longer, because there is so much more that I wanted to see. I especially wanted more story lines for some of the secondary cast members, and I think once Anne sees the movie, she will probably know exactly what I'm talking about.

The musical numbers are really good. While I usually hate any solo Gabriella sings, I actually liked her songs in this one. And Troy's solo wasn't nearly as emo as his last venture into self declaration.

Sneak Peek: Can I have this Dance:

My favourite song is probably this one: I want it all!

That is only a small glimpse of that song! Seriously, the entire cast is in that one.

I don't think I could pick which movie would be my favourite of all three, but there are certain things in each one I like better. For example: the third one definitely has the best songs/dances. The second one has the best plot. I'm biased on that choice since Ryan and Sharpay are my favourite characters and they are displayed prominently in the second movie. And the first...well, the first establishes the entire franchise. And the choreography in Getcha Head in the Game is insane!

Anyhoo, I loved it. I can't wait for it to come out on dvd. (We already have the soundtrack). Oh, and if anyone goes to see it, stay past the initial credits. There are bloopers!

*Oh, and the Ice Tour was pretty good, but freakin' long. The beginning will probably be boring for little kids because they just go over the words and choreography to one of the new songs. Once it actually gets underway, its pretty cool. I do have to say, the prices of shit is getting ridiculous. I paid $10 for one bag of cotton candy! Ten-freakin'-dollars!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Saucy bandits!

Spaghetti Vandals perform drive by saucings

What do you want to bet its people from the power washing company?

Thursday, October 23, 2008

what the FUCK is mattew perry thinking?!

hahahahhaha i'm still totally going to see this!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Old timers should get punished for being assholes.

Seriously, I don't care that you're old and you done this or that for our country; if you are going to act like an asshole, you should get put in your place. I saw this story on the news last night. They actually interviewed this lady and the kid who's ball landed in her yard.

BLUE ASH, Ohio (AP) - Police in Ohio say an 89-year-old woman is facing a charge of petty theft because neighborhood children accuse her of refusing to give back their football.

See, in that little excerpt, it would seem like she is just some innocent lil old lady. Until you see the interview. Which I couldn't find, but trust me, that lady was acting like a dick. Okay, I'm sure she is sick and tired of having balls land in her yard while she sits on the front porch. But that doesn't give you the right to take the ball and refuse to give it back. Or act like a dick to the police by telling them that they can go ahead and throw some cuffs on you 'cuz you aint giving the ball back to the kid. What she should have done was put up No Trespassing signs in her yard, and then called the cops for the kid trespassing. Or she could have shot him. Either way would have put her in the clear, legally. Not morally.

And yes, it was a little hokey that they told some sob story about how the kid saved up his money all summer for that ball, which made me want to call b.s. on the dad; but still.


And as much as I love my grandpa, that man will straight up spit on the floor at the grocery store.

True Story:
[Pepaw spits on the floor in the produce section]
Me: "What the hell, Pepaw?"
Pepaw: "I don't give a fuck, sugar. They can't do shit to me. Haha."

Tuesday, October 21, 2008


After not sleeping the night before last, I was in that sort of zombie zone with a touch of headache all day yesterday. I slipped in a couple of power naps (20min naps) at around 6pm, so at about 9:30pm I was feeling a bit manic. Not so much so like having your parents wake you up at 4am and insist you eat the immaculate breakfast they just cooked, kind of manic I remember. Just a little bit, cupcake manic. As in, I randomly decided that I wanted to make halloween cupcakes at 9:30pm last night.

The boyfriend better save me some fucking cupcakes! Yummmmmm.

i wish i had a real video camera

this is pretty tame compared to the usual moves he busts out, but then again, he was limited to the inside of the car. i suppose your dancibility diminishes at that point.

Monday, October 20, 2008


HSM3 Pictures, Images and Photos

Awwwww yeeaaah boi! High School Musical 3 comes out this Friday, and I'm crazy excited! I don't care what ya'll think! I'm rocking the HSM braclet all week long!
w00t w00t!

Oh yeah, I'll probably take my kid to see it too...

Friday, October 17, 2008

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Scared of clowns? Well, maybe you should be.

Lots of my friends are very, very creeped out by clowns. Some say it's because their parents let them watch Killer Klowns from Outerspace at a young age. A movie, I love, by the way. Seriously, I own it. Others cite the movie, It. Horrible movie, excellent book. Yet other people have just always been scared, for no real reason. I don't know why there has always been some scary stigma associated with clowns, but it's totally there.

Well, now folks, perhaps your fears have just been justified. If you live in Chicago, you might want to warn your children to not only "not talk to strangers," but also, "don't talk to, accept candy from, or for the love of god Timmy, get into that clown's van."

Creepy Clown Stalks Children

Sort of gives a new spin to, Mr. Slaphappy, huh?

I love you, Selma Blair!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

new condoms, YAY!

Okay kids, there are all sorts of condoms out there. MOST prevent pregnancy, unless you have super penetrable sperm; but that's a whole 'nuther post. Anyhoo, as I was saying: you have, glow-in-the-dark, colored, flavored, textured, big, small, ultra, pre-lubed, etc. Well now, you no longer have reason to hang on to that ruler guys (unless it's a trick ruler, in which you seem bigger than you laughably are). Introducing, Condometric!!!


So, does anyone else see frat guys making bets on how big their, um, "outcome" or "final product" ends up being? Cuz I totally see that happening.

Monday, October 13, 2008

math in the morning, and a happy birthday...

I have a sister who is 4 years younger than my mom.

My mom and my dad are 13 years apart.

When my dad was 20yrs old, my mom was 7yrs old.

My mom and my father were 14 years apart.

My son and my sister are the same age.

My older brother and I are 6yrs apart.

My younger brother and I are 6yrs apart.

I have 4 sisters and 2 brothers.

It's my sister's birthday today. HAPPY 40th BIRTHDAY STEPHANIE!!!



I seriously couldn't stop laughing when I was reading this article.

An embarrassed driver needed a lift from emergency services after her attempt to use a Wellington parking building elevator nosedived.
She drove her Ford Falcon into the car lift in the Taranaki St building shortly after 3pm yesterday and pressed the down button, but her towbar caught on a second-floor ledge as the lift descended – leaving her in a slow drop to the ground floor.

What really got me was the fact that she wasn't really freaked out, she was actually laughing about it. Which is what I totally would have done. In fact, after I totalled my parent's Ford Explorer, I was cracking jokes in the ambulance. There might have been blood streaming down my face at the time, but I was still being my sarcastic, awesome self. I wonder how many bloody patients that paramedic flirted with?


Friday, October 10, 2008

Let's play!


Okay, ready? On 3.

1, 2, 3! Ha ha! Paper covers rock! I win!

1, 2, 3! Damn, rock beats scissors, you win.

1, 2, 3! GODDAMNIT, scissors cut paper, you. fucking. cheater.

1, 2, 3! HAHAHHAHAHA YESSSS! BOYAH! LETTER OPENER STABS HAMMER! ha ha! WHAT NOW, BOYYYY?! hahahahhahaha, but no seriously, go wipe up the blood dude, my mom will kill me if you stain the carpet.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Send n00dz?

A 15 year old girl is getting child porn charges brought against her for sending nude photos of herself to other teens via cell phone. You can read all about this b.s. here.

I have a few problems with this. As a n00dz-sending-via-cell-phone slut that I am, I absolutely support my fellow sluts out there. I get it, I get it, she's freakin' 15 and stupid, YES. But to have something as severe as child porn charges?! Are you kidding me? I mean, yes, punish the girl. But don't slap her with something so severe that she might have to file as a sex offender for the rest of her life! Jesus, people.

On a related note, this is one of the reasons why I refuse to have sex in public or give road-head. I don't want to get arrested and have to file as a sex offender just for being sexually-awesome.

Mighty Mouse ain't got shit on THIS mouse!

A mouse bit a venomous viper to death after it was thrown into the snake's cage as a lunchtime snack. The tiny rodent killed the snake after a fierce 30-minute battle, emerging with "barely a scratch on him", according to on person who saw the fight.

More at: Mouse bites snake to death

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

There is no justice in the world.

Does anyone remember the douche bag who kept his girlfriend in the bathroom for two years? Okay, okay, so maybe he didn't physically lock her ass in the bathroom, she stayed willingly, BUT, he didn't call for help for the two years she was in there.

Finally, I guess she stopped moving around in the bathroom and just sat on the toilet and wouldn't get off of it for a month straight. That's when he called the police. I suspect it was their only bathroom and the jackass was tired of pissing in the kitchen sick. Anyhoo, when the police got there, they found the girlfriend physically stuck to the toilet seat! The toilet seat!

Now, if you've seen the episode of Nip/Tuck where the lady is surgically removed from her couch, you can actually picture this scenario pretty well. But there is a very painful difference: couch = fabric, toilet seat = plastic. OW.

But that's not why I'm talking about this guy today. I'm talking about this guy because he just won the lottery jackpot for the second time this year! Are you freakin' kidding me?!

Somewhere in the depths of hell, Satan just earned himself another soul.


Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Ever regret that drunk email?

Well, then this just might be the best invention ever. It's called Mail Goggles, appropriately so. Basically you set a drunk schedule on your email, and whenever you try to email during said drunken period, a nifty little prompt pops up.


hahahahahha niceee. Now, if only they could put this program on my phone! hellloooo drunk texting!

Mail Goggles

Monday, October 6, 2008


So, after browsing through many other blogs, and some myspace groups, I have been hit with nonstop parent posts. So here's mine. This is my favourite picture of my mom. She is in her teens here, and has never looked more beautiful. Sometimes I truly hate this bitch, but even when I hate her, I love her.

OH, fun fact of the day: every time we call each other on the phone, instead of saying "hello," we say, "hey ho" or "hey hooker, what's up." And somehow, the phrase, "god mom, you are such a whore," enters the conversation more than once. Ahhh goodtimes.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Thursday, October 2, 2008

A Text Message.

C: So I'm eating at Sonic and half of the university of tennesse cheerleaders just pulled up and got out right in front of me

Me: Oooh the cozmos are making up for such a crappy bday

C: Thirty sucks

C: [sends picture]

Me: Whatever pic you sent, I cant "retrieve" it right now

C: It was me eating my chili cheese dog

Me: Why the fuck would i want a pic of u eating? Frm now on, im going to take a pic every time i eat & send it to u. Even if ur w/ me

C: It was my bday chili dog on my 30th bday. It was monumental.

Me: Ur an idiot. Only an old guy would think thats monumental. Just think, today a chilidog, in a few years, an erection.

C: Blow me.

Me: btw, im wearing a skirt today.

C: Oh by the way i'm wearing a tie today.

Me: Skirt trumps tie since we're both turned on by them. I win. Even on ur bday, i win.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

a voting message...

and even though I'm not all together conviced that voting truely matters, I think I might actually vote this year. The world is a mess, and even if it doesn't matter, it couldn't hurt right?

Happy Birthday, Boyfriend!