Thursday, April 9, 2009

6 month hiatus:

I'll be leaving my home for the next 6 months due to the following reasons:

-I have no job here and can't find one.

-My car was repossessed yesterday and I can't get it back. There is no way I can come up with over $10,000 in the next 15 days; short of robbing a bank. Plus, knowing my luck, I would get a bullet to the face instead of the money anyway.

-I have debt on top of my debt. My credit was already fucked before the repossession.

My concerns:

-Transferring my son to a new school. I don't think he'll take it well at all.

-Living with my parents. They are soul sucking forces that drive me to think unthinkable thoughts. If I end up stabbing my mother, please know that that cunt drove me to it. Crime of passion, not premeditation. Even though I'm discussing it now, I'm not planning it.

-My parents might lose their house.

-Being away from my boyfriend for 6 months. We've never been apart that long in the 5 1/2 years that we've been together. I'm worried we'll grow apart. Or rather, that he'll grow apart from me.

Regardless, I'll be gone til September.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

NO! ok? just, no!

I swear to god, if my boyfriend buys this Star Trek Mural for our bedroom wall, I will NOT have sex in the Captain's Chair! Ok? No matter how many roofie-coladas he makes for me.

Actually, that might work. Hey baby, if you roofie me, you at least HAVE to video having sex w/ my lifeless body; so I can get off to it later. But if you're wearing the Star Trek shirt and throwing up the hand sign, I swear to god it's over.


Wednesday, April 1, 2009

i totally forgot about that sex dream:

I had a sex dream the other day and I totally forgot all about it until today. I'm watching The Doctors right now and it sparked my memory. Why? Cuz I had a sex dream about Dr. Travis Stark.

travis lane stork Pictures, Images and Photos

Dude is fine, huh? Plus he's tall! Which is a huge turn-on for me.

From what I remember, I was in some large group of people and we were all traveling together. Travis was apart of this group, and we were the youngest people there. Earlier in the day we had all gone hiking and had come back to the lodge to relax for the night. I started giving Travis a back rub since he was complaining of pulling something during the hike. At this point, it was completely innocent. Then he started getting flirty and touchy-feely with me. Which shocked the hell out of me. I mean, look at him. He is crazy hot and I was thinking the entire time, why are you so interested in me?! I figured it was due to me being the only chick close to his age. I also wasn't sure if he actually wanted to have sex or if he was just teasing. But thank god, he wasn't. We excused ourselves from the group and went to the bathroom. I found out pretty quickly that he wasn't kidding around and even though I was very into it, I was super self-conscience about my body. Super self-conscience. Before anything really good took place, I woke up. Of course.

I woke up horny, anxious, and full of self-loathing. Plus I was confused as to why I had a sex dream, let alone a sex dream about Travis Stork. Oh well, lets ogle for a few seconds and move on.

Travis Stork Pictures, Images and Photos

* oh, apparently he was also on "The Bachelor," which I've never seen.

i have never been more attracted to john mayer...

I wish I had been on that cruise...