Does anyone remember the douche bag who kept his girlfriend in the bathroom for two years? Okay, okay, so maybe he didn't physically lock her ass in the bathroom, she stayed willingly, BUT, he didn't call for help for the two years she was in there.
Finally, I guess she stopped moving around in the bathroom and just sat on the toilet and wouldn't get off of it for a month straight. That's when he called the police. I suspect it was their only bathroom and the jackass was tired of pissing in the kitchen sick. Anyhoo, when the police got there, they found the girlfriend physically stuck to the toilet seat! The toilet seat!
Now, if you've seen the episode of Nip/Tuck where the lady is surgically removed from her couch, you can actually picture this scenario pretty well. But there is a very painful difference: couch = fabric, toilet seat = plastic. OW.
But that's not why I'm talking about this guy today. I'm talking about this guy because he just won the lottery jackpot for the second time this year! Are you freakin' kidding me?!
Somewhere in the depths of hell, Satan just earned himself another soul.